I have not, still I hold

They say that there is a very beautiful baby in the world and every mother has it.I think in my case it is wrong.
I was born ugly...Even my mother could not see me with out that horror in her eyes..
When I was very little..possibly I could not know but ever since I remember I was seen with disgust from every body from family members to outsiders.There was no day when there was some reference to my ugliness.There would be a lull in the conversation as I entered a room as the gazes would be averted from me very soon....
As I grew up I could sense why....I had the most ugly green colored eyes big enough to be saucers...A square face with very thin hair,pug nose and a jutting jaw ....I did not grow in height when I reached my youth..My teachers did not like me,I had no girl friends too...
The life dragged on until I could no longer take the suffering.
I decided that i would end my life...
I decided to go to San Fransisco as I always was fascinated by the city...To see the Golden Gate bridge by the sunset,To walk by the bay area ....and in the end getting runk with the poison I had kept ready for the purpose...
As i sat in the pier looking at the giant sea lions making awful noises,I felt the steady gaze of a person.Casually he approached me and started talkin to me...I do not know how,slowly I started taking and all my sorrows came out tumbling like balls from an inverted open sac....
It was almost one hour before I could stop ....
The person smiled at me and said that if i am willing he could procure a job for me.
I could not believe my ears...Who would give me,the ugly monster give a job and loose his customers?I wondered...
I askd him whether it was any thing illegal?
He said no,it was not at all illegal and asked me not to worry...
Since then I am working as a leprechaun in the house of horrors at the Universal Studios .My job is to stand in a remote dark corner and suddenly make my appearance.I make a very good effect and you should see the people shrieking and running away from me...
Do you know?I am now married to a girl who dances as the wicked devil bride in the same place....she has a heart of gold.....
Then we have promised ourselves that we will not have any children.....

It is twenty one days since I came to U.S.A.
These twenty one days are because I have not seen failure of electricity and mosquitoes.They go hand in hand in India.Our house there is in one of the areas with lot of shrubs and trees.So invariably we are plagued with a lot of mosquitoes To ward them off when there is fan turning in full speed and electric One or two brave ones always irritate you. run mosquito repellent is difficult enough.Once the electricity goes off we are at the mercy of these creatures.They bite you and irritate you with their droning noise near your ear.That is the one music I hate.
Here there is no power failure and no mosquito menace.I am enjoying these days....After sometime i am going back to fight the mosquitoes again.Wish me good luck.

Today I read a forward about life before 1986 for the children.
I am happy to say that we have so much to tell .Now it seems a lot of time in the evenings if there is no power and no T V.We did not have anything to see.We had only playing outside as an option.I am sure no child was indoors after it came from the school.There were scores of games to play.We used to play Lagori.Chinni dandu,marakothi aata,kunti mutto aata and somany other games .If it was very hot we had kavade aata.kallu aata.hagga aata and so many other indoor games.We used to get a lot of exercise and no child was fat.We did not get much to eat outside homes and the food was wholesome and i do not remember any parent complaining that her child do not eat.
We also had no footwear while playing and any injury would be treated by great physicians in ourselves.For scraping injuries we had few medicined like putting our saliva on a news paper chit and pasting it on the wound,putting very fine sand,putting the blue paper of a matchbox etc.If a thorn went in to the foot which was a very regular feature as our house was in an area that abounded in gobbali mullu,we used to put calotropis milk to make the thorn more visible and take the thorn out using another thorn or from a batte pinnu.Nobody bothered to get us tetvac injections and no one ied of tetanus infection either.
We used to roam about in the fields and come at lunch time and no parent used to be worried.Only dictum in our house was to come to the house once the street lights were on and to wash your hand and feet and recite some slokas and tabls and read for a while before mother would call for dinner.Once we had dinner,we used to sleep on the beds which were put side by side in the main hall.Many houses did not havebeds.All used to sleep on mats.We had never neard of a seperate room for a child....for that matter any one.

As we went through the lit road,we could see many many people opting for their favorite destinations.If they were regular,The girl at the front door recognized the customer she would give a broad smile and ask few pleasantries and sent them inside.
My daughter was calculating in her mind where to go since the moment we planned to go there.It was where she set her first home after she was married and knew the place very well.She was asking herself...should she have Thai or will it be Mexican?Will it be the tastiest Pizza or will it be the good old Indian Chana batura?It is a really difficult decision.
Ultimately she came to th decision that she is going to take us to one of her favoriteThai hote that is King of Siam.
As we went near the hotel,we could see the place busting with customers.A lady of indeterminable age greeted us with a smile which she had given all the customers from the day she joined the hotel.Asked us how many of us were there and when we told that we were four,beamed unnecessarily and asked us to occupy the front row tables.As we went inside we could see many portraits of the king of Thailand adorning all the walls.There was an imitation of a building n front of the Grand palace of Bangkok.There were many flowers and different decorative items increasing the ambiance of the hotel.There were statues of the laughing Buddha and other deities .They had kept few food items in front of them as offerings.
As we settled we were given the menu cards by a stern lady.We chose the things we wanted and when we told her again and again that we wanted the meat to be replaced by tofu she was slightly offended and told us that she knew about vegetarians.
When we got he vegetables in a thin gravy I was apprehensive but as i took a sip it was quite tasty.They had put ornately decorated porcelain dishes and plates in front of us.As we were served with the vegetables we got the pineapple rice which was stuffed in to a carved pineapple.We also got the mango rice.A mango had been slit open and the inner things taken ou and the rice with all the vegetables were stuffed inside.
As we tasted each dish the sweet taste took over our palates and by the time we finished our meal,we wre greatly satisfied.
WE can not leave the dessert,is it not?As we ordered mango with sticky rice,the waitress beamed at us approving of our taste.As we were served with the pieces of mango fruit with slighty sweet st
icky rice ,we slowly took one piece by one as they dissolved in our mouths.
As we came out we were hooked to Thai cuisine....

After reading my nephew Vasukis blog,it came to me that the art of giving gifts is always very interesting.
When I was married in the year 1980,very few gave gifts in the lavish way that it is being given now.
The economy was not strong and few relatives who had to give Muyyi{as gifts were called}Gave one rupee or two Rupees.If someone gave Rs Five it was a huge amount.Some used to give steel vessels with their family name written on it.I remember I got a total of Rs 15 for my marriage and few steel vessels.
Then the era of presenting bigger steel vessels came.They used to select good quality vessels.Moreover when someone gives a steel thing with the name engraved on it you have to use it as it cannot be recirculated.some people though very rare scrached away the name with the same macin and put their name and presented to others.
Then came the time when Milk cookers were in great demand as a gift.Any newly married couple could boast of at least five pieces of malk cookers.what to do?You were not buying enough milk to boil in all the cookers.So one was uswd and all others were kept in the attic.Those days in almost all the hoses we could hear the shrill voice of the milk cookers.
Slowly the times changed and people started to have more money and the quantity and quality of gifts changed.Even the parents of the girl and the boy were gifted with sarees and dhothis or pant pieces.The gifts of idols og Gods and cutlery sets are in vogue now.You can go to the shop and he will ask is it for yourself or for gifting?If you say it is for a gift then he will show different sets of thing which looks more attractive and has an amount which is far more than what you will give.These cutlery pieces and sets of coffee mugs,plates go on circulating as gifts with new gift wrapping!!!
now a days you can see many of them have a collection of Gansha idols in their show cases,telling every one that collecting Ganesha idols is their passion!

It is true that the smells and memories of your childhood remains in your mind eternally though you may not be aware of the same.Suddenly from somewhere they rush in and you go back to the time you had experienced the same.
Recently I had gone to some ones house for a meeting.After some time they served Orange juice and it was the brand kissan squash.Suddenly I remembered the times when we used to drink lots of kissan squash in our home.For the yonger children it may be a shock to know that then it was a luxury.not many had tasted the squashes and juices.Not many brands were available.The famous one was kissan brand.
When our father used to bring the bottle the orange colour and the shape used to mesmerise us children.If we tried to touch it,our mother used to be afraidthat we would break the bottle.We did not have a refregerator.many times we used to prepare the juice with room temperature water and consume.Sometimes we used to keep the bottle in cold water for some time and then prepare.
My mother used to prepare and give us all in steel tumblers and we used to relish the juices in the hot summers and ask for more and more.....
Now when i go to the malls and buy variety of juicesI simply think of the improvement of our country in consumer goods....
Any how the taste of the not so cool kissan sqush lingers..........

One evening i was in my clinic when three people came in.The worried mother,a small built daughter with a sick look and a father with no particular emotion.
i asked them to sit down and they did.The father took the news paper and sterted to glance The girl was looking that side and this side.I had a phone call to make and after that I enquired about the patient.
The mother told me that the girl had no appetite from two months and not eating properly and becomng weaker day by day.somebody had suggested my name and so hey are here.
I asked the usual questions and examines the girl.Usually when someone has long term loss of appetite we check them for signs of jaundice and they were not there in that girl.Then i told them to get a blood and urine check up and wrote the necessary investigations.As an after thought I also wrote a pregnancy test .We have a code my pathologist and me,when we dont want the people to know that we are getting a pregnancy test done but we have our own doubts The threesome went to the pathology lab which is nearby.
After 20 mins the pathologist telephoned me saying that the pregnancy test is positive for the girl.After some time the three people came and gave the report.
I called the girl inside and told her about the results.She begged me not to sayanything to her mother and she would come again tomorrow to consult me again.I told her that she would have to undergo a scanning to know the exactly the duration of pregnancy and then further expenditure for the medicines or a medical termination of pregnancy. she told she would take care of everything.
So i came out and said to her mother that due to some  harmonal changes this has happened {ofcourse it is true}
and to come after 2 days.
They went and the girl is yet to come.I dont know what the girl did  .....
I dont know whether her boy friend gave her the support she needed.
I dont know if she told the mother,and if she did what was her reaction?
I was also thinking what is the use of all those ads about contraception.
What should one do as a person and doctor?
There is no solution I think......


 

We were watching Travel and living last week and thhere we were watching a herd of mountain goats climbing a steep hill.As you know the mountain goats are very agile and can climb any steep hill with least effort.As we saw ,the old and the young goats climbed the hill as a river went with full speed below.One step wrong and the goats could fall to the valley and perish.They were climbing on the thin rock protrudes and enjoying a tuft of grass as if it is the prime thing in their life and may be it is.
Then we wondered why a old goat will never sit telling itself that it cannot climb?Do a old monkey refrain from climbing trees telling itself it cant climb a branch?Do a old duck does not swim?When in most of the animal kingdom the old ones continue doing what they were doing why in mankind the old will not do the activities it used to do once with ease?Is it the mental conditioning?As we are more civilised is it the penalty we are giving?Is it only due to the lack of exersise and faulty diet?
What may be the reason I wondered?????

We,in our life meet many types of people.Some people leave a lasting impression on you.You remember them many times in your life.I am now telling you about one of them.
We were a group of people of different ages going to maany treks.One of the beautiful treks we went was from Coonoor to Mettupalyam Rail Road trek.ONe is wonderstruck by the beauty of the trek.You start from Coonoor railway station and go on the railway tracks.
You will meet many water points and the flowres take away your breath.The size of the flowers doubles almost in Ooty and Coonoor side may be because of the weather. There are numerous varieties of flowers through out the rail road trek.We enjoyed in the water points.Ate the things we took along with usand spent one of the most beautiful days in our life.
Then we came to a section where the road meets the rail road.We were all tired and thought of taking an available transport.We waited for some time.That road was full of lorries with many vegetable produce After waiting for some time for a bus we decided that we would take a lorry.many lorries did not stop.At last one fellow slowed down and asked us what we wanted.When we asked him to give us a drop to Mettupalyam he was a little hesitant at first.Thenhe saw many young and charming girls and suddenly told us to hop in.We elders sat in the small cabin and the young ones sat behind with a carrot load.The young ones were giggling non stop and then the fellow strted the lorry.He was an expert driver.we sat wonderstruck seeing the speed and the precision of his driving.That was a ghat section and the lorries would go really near each other when thjey crossed.He was chatting with us happily and when he knew that we were from Karnataka he was very happy and told that he was from Nanjangud. We never saw a frown in his face through out the journey.When he had to pay bribe at the toll gate also he was smiling and was telling us these things are there,gave the money and resumed his journey.
At last when we reached Mettupalyam he gave us all carrots as much as we could take and bade us goodbye and resumed his journey.
Some how I remember his smiling face many times.....

My father was a teacher and he had scores of desciples .One of them was from Koppa,a small place in malnad.
My father had requested her to bring two canes from her place.It was for the sole purpose of disciplining us,specially my brother and me.
YOu should not think that he was always beating us.he used to show lot of love,take us for outings tell us stories etc.
Then when we were naughy and when we did not get the right answers for his questios we had it from him.SO we were very apprehensive that that lady was bringing cane.We did not know what a cane was.
Then she got the canes.It was polished canes,yellow coloured and cut exactly for the right size.
Then my brother somehow took one cane and desroyed it.When our father asked what happened to the cane we had our most innocent faces and told him that we had never seen them.
So our father was left with one cane.We (my brother and me}have got few nice beatings in that cane.I dont think nowadays any child will get such beatings.Even after one hour the place where we got hit was burning and the skin was showing red weals.
we were real tough.Next day we were up to our old misciefs.
The scrapes both of us fell in to.Out of ten times nine times we were caught and were given nice beatings.....
May be thats why now we have a bond and enjoy telling these stories to our children and bore them to death.....
but anyhow we enjoy going back to our childhood...